Lately I have been sitting on the floor of my shower a lot. I lay back and let the steamy, hot water wash away the dried sticky soda, spilled buffalo sauce and unwanted cooties from the horny old Server Assistant that likes to rub his junk on my leg. (For the record he rubs his junk on everyone. He is also an extremely skilled dancer, but this is irrelevant for now.)

I stare at the wall or shut my eyes to feel the day melt off of me so I can think. Think about my own thoughts – not about how many potstickers come in an order or about how your super fat kid needs a cup of free cherries RIGHT NOW or he is going to fucking explode and take the rest of Disney World with him.

Yes, this shit does drive you crazy.

When all the bullshit (including the SA’s balls) circles the drain, I’m often thinking of all of the things I’m not doing enough. I’m not seeing my friends or family enough. I’m not writing an adequate amount or going on random adventures nearly as much as I’d like to be. I’m not really doing much of anything because after working 10-12 hours a day busting your ass for other people, all you want to do is sleep.

After the day I had today, the last thing I thought I would be doing is writing this entry. I wouldn’t have even been surprised if I had fallen asleep in the bathtub earlier.

I dig my job a lot. I like the people I work with a shitload, I love making a guest’s day and I realllly like making that sweet, sweet cheddar.

However, as with any job, it’s not without its obvious woes that really sting your B-hole. I hope you find them as entertaining as I do.

Said every server ever.